I recently returned from a holiday of sorts where I got together with like hearted parents who share the value of allowing their children to express all range of emotions, not just the happy ones....where its ok to sit with your child and be present with them while they cry and release the tensions and stresses that have been accumulating during their journey....rather than try and comfort them and ask them to suppress the anger, or frustration which naturally arises as a child learns and grows....as adults we have the ability to release tensions through conversations children are yet to fully understand and articulate their emotions let alone understand why they came about....so rather than teach them that anger is not ok and that feeling un-certain or frustrated is not ok behavior we say we want to hear how you are feeling...and a clear indication a child is not feeling fabulous is their lack of desire to connect with you in a present way.....don't get me wrong I am no expert on the topic I am simply sharing my experience...and its one that is growing in awareness daily.....what is at the bottom of it all though for me right now is teaching our children its ok to be AUTHENTIC no matter what they are feeling....
How many of us go about our day in an authentic way...being honest about how we are feeling....I wonder if their are others out there who do not feel safe to honestly respond to someone when they ask....how are you? I wonder if this is because of what (my experience) society has taught us, that anger, frustration and sadness are not to be openly expressed in comparison to happiness, excitment....or that as children we weren't taught to empathize, rather comfort and help the person only get back to 'feeling better'...rather than honor how they are feeling and then get to the bottom of it and understand what needs are not being met, then actually help them create a way of getting those needs met...rather than suppressing them....
Being authentic is saying yes I have needs and needs for empathy....for understanding...for deep, honest connection.....so caught up in being seen to be coping....pride gets in the way of saying...no my needs are not getting met right now and I feel....sad, angry....and I am the one who can change it yet I would really love some support to help me get clear about what those needs are....
It wasn't only the children who were encouraged to be honest...to cry if they needed to and speak candidly about how they were feeling...the adults, the parents were openly welcomed and encouraged to, and what surprised me, maybe I was naive, was that everyone had 'stuff' going on and I mean everyone...even the ones that 'externally' looked like they were happy, balanced, peaceful people....had stuff they were dealing with....and again I was reminded we are all on a journey...here to learn lessons, chosen lessons, and the gift of authentic relationships is that we can offer others, not the answers but insight which may help them find the answers they need for their journeys...for our answers are not anothers....as we are all experiencing life in different ways...due to our belief systems....conscious and not...so its not about one truth but about the truth of the now that will help us as an individual live a more authentic aligned aware life...
All around authenticity offers so much more than living in an image from our minds which is impossible to live up to and is based on others opinions...and not our own authenticity and at the end of the day authenticity is the most beautiful we can be....because...its a gift to ourselves...and to others....
Since on my journey...being more authentic with others has meant people have opened up to me so much more, my relationships with some of my friends have deepened as we have seen each other in wholeness in authenticness (if that's a word) and found it connected us more not less...
We ALL want everyone to be happy, at peace and living their lives to the fullest....I truly believe all humanity wants to live authentically...because when we do we unite, we see the beauty in others and share the beauty that we are...
I want for everyone to feel safe to be authentic...and I want my child to know that being authentic is a gift to this world and all that she is, will be welcomed with compassion, love and celebration....because there is no shame in being human in being real, living from her heart passionately sharing herself with whoever is blessed to cross her path...
So maybe next time you are asked 'how are you?' you will remember the gift of what authenticity can bring to that moment and that relationship....
How many of us go about our day in an authentic way...being honest about how we are feeling....I wonder if their are others out there who do not feel safe to honestly respond to someone when they ask....how are you? I wonder if this is because of what (my experience) society has taught us, that anger, frustration and sadness are not to be openly expressed in comparison to happiness, excitment....or that as children we weren't taught to empathize, rather comfort and help the person only get back to 'feeling better'...rather than honor how they are feeling and then get to the bottom of it and understand what needs are not being met, then actually help them create a way of getting those needs met...rather than suppressing them....
Being authentic is saying yes I have needs and needs for empathy....for understanding...for deep, honest connection.....so caught up in being seen to be coping....pride gets in the way of saying...no my needs are not getting met right now and I feel....sad, angry....and I am the one who can change it yet I would really love some support to help me get clear about what those needs are....
It wasn't only the children who were encouraged to be honest...to cry if they needed to and speak candidly about how they were feeling...the adults, the parents were openly welcomed and encouraged to, and what surprised me, maybe I was naive, was that everyone had 'stuff' going on and I mean everyone...even the ones that 'externally' looked like they were happy, balanced, peaceful people....had stuff they were dealing with....and again I was reminded we are all on a journey...here to learn lessons, chosen lessons, and the gift of authentic relationships is that we can offer others, not the answers but insight which may help them find the answers they need for their journeys...for our answers are not anothers....as we are all experiencing life in different ways...due to our belief systems....conscious and not...so its not about one truth but about the truth of the now that will help us as an individual live a more authentic aligned aware life...
All around authenticity offers so much more than living in an image from our minds which is impossible to live up to and is based on others opinions...and not our own authenticity and at the end of the day authenticity is the most beautiful we can be....because...its a gift to ourselves...and to others....
Since on my journey...being more authentic with others has meant people have opened up to me so much more, my relationships with some of my friends have deepened as we have seen each other in wholeness in authenticness (if that's a word) and found it connected us more not less...
We ALL want everyone to be happy, at peace and living their lives to the fullest....I truly believe all humanity wants to live authentically...because when we do we unite, we see the beauty in others and share the beauty that we are...
I want for everyone to feel safe to be authentic...and I want my child to know that being authentic is a gift to this world and all that she is, will be welcomed with compassion, love and celebration....because there is no shame in being human in being real, living from her heart passionately sharing herself with whoever is blessed to cross her path...
So maybe next time you are asked 'how are you?' you will remember the gift of what authenticity can bring to that moment and that relationship....
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